


Robocop Gay

by VersusBlue



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: (this will (probably) be a good and not trashy fic tho), Alternate Universe - College/University, Crush at First Sight, Gen, I will make tons of unrelated people be relatives just because I can, M/M, baby's first "gay" crush (aka Church's bi awakening), canon? I don't know them. this is trashland and I am the trash monarch, more relationships and characters to be added as we go, referenced homophobia/transphobia, sorry Tucker fans he's a bad straight today, starting with Flowers being Church's uncle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21526489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VersusBlue/pseuds/VersusBlue
Summary: Church sees a handsome stranger and falls in love at first sight. Problem is, he has no idea how to deal with having a crush on a guy. Or what to do if the crush is reciprocated.
Relationships: Butch Flowers | Agent Florida/Agent Wyoming (background), Franklin Delano Donut/Frank "Doc" DuFresne (background), Leonard L. Church & Franklin Delano Donut, Michael J. Caboose/Leonard L. Church
Comments: 23
Kudos: 66





	1. I thought love was only true in fairy tales

**Author's Note:**

> Title is reference to [this song](https://youtu.be/7JIF7jmXAok) (warning: video is a cd cover featuring big (caricature) boobs. Don't open or leave visible in boobphobic areas). It's terrible, and packed with some terrible 90s prejudice (you can probably hear it in his voice even though you don't understand what he's saying), but the first verse after the shift is "open your mind, gays are people too" and I think that's neat.

Church was distracted. Tucker could feel the emptiness of his brain without even looking at him. And this was a class Church actually liked. Something was wrong.

"Hey dude" He slipped a paper to Church. Church looked but didn't reply. He took the paper back and added more message. "Whats up with u"

"?" Wow, what a fucking answer.

"U r not paying attention did you forget ur brain at home"

"fuck off tucker"

"For real! I know this is like ur favorite class and ure not even pretending to be here"

"so"

"Whats up with that!! >:/"

"nonya" WHAT?? How DARE he "nonya" him?!

"Im gonna laugh soo much when u fail ur classes"

"F U C K O F F"

Yeah, he wasn't gonna get anywhere with these. Church was a good friend, but he never talked much about himself. Except when talking about how great he is, which Tucker suspected was just a way to dodge his insecurities. He decided to drop the subject, at least until class was over.

And when class ended, Church escaped him too fast for Tucker to even protest. Fuck.

It's not that Church didn't want to be interrogated by Tucker, it's just that… yeah, it was that he didn't want to be interrogated by Tucker. Tucker was too good at reading him. He was distracted, yeah, but he didn't want to talk about it. He was... thinking. Of a guy he saw for a few seconds. He wasn't into guys, at least he thought he wasn't, but that guy could totally... No, no, no! NO thinking of inappropriate stuff in public. Especially not about a stranger. That was a Tucker thing to do, not a Church thing.

His phone vibrated. A message. From Tucker. Of course.

"Can't avoid me forever bitch" Wow. Real mature.

"yes i can" He sent, and blocked Tucker from the message app. To be received with a call, of course. God, didn't he know when to stop?!

"How DARE you fucking BLOCK me!!"

Church hung up immediately, and put his phone on plane mode. He didn't want to turn it off, but he didn't want Tucker being able to contact him. He knew he'd still have to face him at home, but that could be postponed for a few hours. He headed to a cafe near the university where his friend worked. Tucker hated that friend and that cafe so he was safe from Tucker. For a while, at least.

"Oh. My. God. Is that a dirty, dirty blue I see?" The pink-haired waiter greeted him dramatically. "Dirty blue" was a nickname Donut's landlord gave him for some reason.

"Hi to you too, Donut."

"How's it going?"

"Terrible. Can you give me a black coffee and... I don't know, a donut?"

"How about two donuts? One for eating and one for talking?" Donut winked at him.

"Don't you have work to do?"

"Nope. No one comes here at 4 in the afternoon. And if they do, I can just get up and serve them real quick." He smiled and got Church's order done quickly, and joined him on a table. "So."

"Uh." Church took a sip from his coffee and looked away. "I... Donut... What's it like to be gay?"

"... What?"

"Like. I know you don't, like, know what it's like to be straight, but... what's it like for you? To... be you?"

"It's... normal? Kinda sucks sometime, y'know, because of the homophobia. But it's cool. I like liking guys. Have I told you about my boyfriend?"

"The doctor?"

"Nurse. And yeah, that's him. He's super cool, and he knows a lot of stuff, and he listens to me when I talk, and we wear the same size so I can take his clothes whenever I want..."

"Half the clothing expenses." Church laughed.

"I know, right!" Donut beamed. He was always happy to talk about his boyfriend. And then he stopped and stared at Church with a more serious look. "Wait. You're distracting me from the you. Why are you asking about my life?"

"I... Ok, I know you won't believe me if I say I'm just curious, so. Promise you won't tell Tucker? Or anyone else, but especially Tucker?"

"What, you think I'm ever gonna talk with mr. Straightie? Fuck no, spill me that secret tea!"

"I... I think I have a crush? On a guy?"

"OH. MY. FUCK. Who is it? What's he like?"

"I. I don't know. I saw him for a few seconds on campus and. My heart skipped a beat. And I felt butterflies in my stomach, and... Fuck, I haven't felt like this since I first fell in love with Tex."

"Oh, I loove love at first sight! Let me be your cupid! If you saw him on campus, that means he's probably a student, or at least friends with a student, right?"

"Yeah?"

"So there's a chance he or his friends know about Anonymous Cupid, right?"

"Donut… Fuck, you're a gay genius!" He pulled his phone out of his pocket, before remembering he deleted his BaseBook account because of how much data it was stealing. He hated invasive social media like that. "Oh wait. Can I. Can I use your account? I… deleted my BaseBook."

"Sure! I'm your cupid, I'm here to help you get your love, aren't I?"

"You sure are."

Donut opened the Anonymous Cupid page of BaseBook for him, and handed him the phone. It was a silly thing, a page where people would confess their crushes anonymously, and sometimes their crushes would be interested too, and they might end up together, all thanks to a silly anonymous message. It was at least a safe place to confess a crush. No one would judge him. Well, maybe they would judge, but not him specifically. No one except for Donut could possibly know it was him.

"I don't know his name, but he's tall, dark-skinned, has long curly brunet hair and the bluest eyes I've ever seen. Handsome stranger, if you're out there, I really hope you're into guys. Because I'm guys." He typed, and turned the phone to Donut. "Is this too stupid?"

"Noo, it looks nice! I love the 'I'm guys'. You should specify which part of campus you saw him in though, I'm sure there's plenty of guys who fit that description."

"Okay... so what about 'I saw him for five seconds near the entrance of the engineering street and now I believe in love at first sight'?"

"Yeah that definitely limits it a bit. Especially for the 'likes guys'."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know if you've ever been in engineering street before, but I have, and trust me, there's almost no gays there. Straight dudebro heaven, gay hell. Good luck, you're gonna need it."

"Donut, stop trying to destroy my hopes before me!" He laughed and pushed the man playfully.

He ordered another coffee, and a piece of cake to share with Donut, and ended up staying there talking about anything until closing time. The shop really wasn't that popular, and he always tried to help a bit when it did get busy. He liked helping Donut. He was a nice guy, and Church's best gay friend. Not that he had many, but Donut was definitely the best. Sometimes he even preferred him over Tucker. Especially during times like this. Tucker was really closed-minded. He always complained about indecency when their landlord even just held hands with his husband. He spent a week throwing prejudiced jokes at Church when he found out Tex was trans. He made a scene every time Church brought Donut home. He would probably freak out if he found out Church had a crush on a guy! And spread the news to everyone he knew who could make Church's social life even worse than it already was.

It was a surprise when he got home and Tucker was not waiting for him in the living toom. Unfortunately, his landlord, "uncle" Flowers, was. Church wasn't really sure if Flowers was actually related to him, but he felt like he could have been one (or both?) of his parents' ex boyfriend. His parents treated him as part of the family, his sister called him uncle, and he really didn't care either way. It was very convenient that Flowers had this cool apartment house with too many extra rooms for rent, and even cooler that he let Church live there for free, so Church didn't question the man.

"Heey, little Leonard!" The man greeted him with a smile.

"Hi, uncle Flowers."

"Leonard, how many times do I have to say! It's Butch. Uncle Butch. Don't call me by my surname!" His uncle sounded almost threatening, but he still had a smile on. He always did.

"Sorry... uncle Butch."

"So. I didn't get to talk to Tucker about this, he was in a bit of a bad mood after I told him you weren't home yet, and I don't think it would be very useful to tell him either way, but... we'll be expecting a guest tomorrow, and I will have to go to town for a few hours. And I know it's your day off, and you probably want to relax and do 'Church stuff' all day, but can you _please_ watch out for the doorbell, and greet our guest when he gets here?"

He couldn't refuse. Not because he was freeloading, or because his uncle was always so nice to him, but because he had seen the man almost dislocate his husband's arm for arriving a few minutes later than promised after spending a month away at work. He didn't want to risk his life, or his arms.

"Uh. Sure. I... I can do that."

" _Great_!" The man patted his back and walked off to the kitchen. "I hope you've had dinner already, because all we have here is dishes to wash!" Oh, this sounded like a threat. And he wasn't all that tired, he could spare a few minutes.

"Do you... Do you want some help, uncle Butch?"

"Oh that would be marvellous, thank you for being such a helpful nephew!"


	2. And then I saw his face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is. mostly just Church and Donut texting. I want them to be good friends. Suffer my consequences.

Church was still not in the mood to have his social life killed along with his oldest friendship before he could even find out if he had a chance with this "crush", so he made sure to only leave his room after he was absolutely sure Tucker was gone for the day. He had classes, Church didn’t. So now his main worry was the visitor. Flowers didn’t tell him much about the guest, only that it was a possible new tenant, coming to check out the place and be interviewed. Church had a bad feeling, but he hoped it was really just a feeling. An hour or so after Flowers left, the doorbell rang. Time to meet his possible new housemate. He opened the door to find a short man with dark skin, dark brown eyes and messy wavy hair dyed blond standing there. He relaxed a bit. This guy didn’t look suspicious. He'd seen worse "candidates".

"Uh. Hi. I’m Church, the landlord left me in charge of greeting you while he’s gone. Sorry, but you’re... probably gonna wait a long time." As less nervous as he was, he still had no idea what to say.

"Washington. Mr. Flowers told me there was a chance he wouldn’t be here to greet me, don’t worry. Do you have any chargers I can use? My phone died, and I gotta call my cousin."

"Oh. Yeah, yeah, sure. I. Wait, is your phone a micro or a C?" He hesitated before leaving to get a charger. He had to make sure he wouldn’t have to go up the stairs again so soon. He hated the stairs.

"Micro." This was the first time someone answered so fast.

"Great. I’m gonna go get my charger, you can... I don’t know, sit down? Make yourself comfortable? The TV remote should be somewhere visible, in case you... watch TV."

"Thanks."

Church rushed to his room. This guy felt so... cool? Too cool. He knew what Church meant without him having to say USB. He seemed to have regular contact with Flowers. This was weird. And kinda cool. Could he be a computer nerd like Church? Was this a possible new friendship after only ever meeting people through other friends?? He got his charger, and handed it to the man, who was sitting on the floor beside a plug instead of on the couch, or a chair.

“Here you go.”

"Oh, thanks. I hope you don't mind me creeping on your floor..." He stared at the charger for a moment before smiling and plugging it. Weird? "Oh, this is the same as my cousin’s." Ah.

"Yeah my phone is. A pretty common one."

Uncomfortable silence as Washington waited for his phone to turn on. It was at least twice as expensive as Church’s. This guy probably didn’t need to live in a house like this, with a bunch of housemates and an eccentric landlord. The phone took half a minute to turn on, and he immediately opened the call app and videocalled the first contact on the list. The call barely rang before a guy with skin as dark as Washington’s, long dark hair and bright blue eyes answered, appearing on the screen. Church's brain froze. It was him!

"David!" The man smiled. Fuck, his smile was even brighter than Donut's. "Are you there yet?"

"Yeah, I arrived a minute ago. The landlord is out right now, so I’m waiting for him with one of the other tenants. Say hi to your possible new neighbor!"

"Hello! I’m Michael, and you?"

Washington turned his phone to Church, who almost panicked. His brain was frozen trying to process this.

"Uh. Hi. I... Church. Leonard... Church."

"Nice to meet you, Leonard!" Oof, this felt weird. Only Flowers called him Leonard since he moved here.

"He’s gonna be making me company while I wait for mister Flowers."

"Neat!"

Church couldn't stand to look at the screen much longer. It felt creepy to be watching someone else's call, and he didn't want to start blushing from looking too much at that beautiful face. He left, threw himself on a couch and pulled out his phone to message Donut.

"GUESS WHAT"

"Wow, you’re using caps. What happened?"

"GUESS"

"You saw your crush again?"

"YES"

“HOLy shit that was a wild guess

How? Isn't today your day off?? What happened???"

"HIS COUSIN IS HERE

THEYRE VIDEOCALLING

HIS COUSIN IS APPLYIING TO LIVE HERE"

"OH FUCK Church you’re one lucky bistard"

"WAS.

WAS THAT A FUCKING BI PUN"

"Absolutely, thank you for catching it

It means your bi senses are awakening"

"WOW

FUCK

I

I WANNA DIEEE

I COULDN’T EVEN GREET HIM PROPPERLY"

"That’s just part of the gay experience

Are you gonna ask his cousin if he’s into guys

(also turn off the fucking caps)"

"(oh i forgot)

and FUCK no

what if he thinks im a creep

i dont wanna be a creep

i wanna die

im stuck here til flowers comes back"

"You still calling him by surname"

"its weird calling him butch!!"

"You sound like a child first discovering your parents have names

Except you don't even call him uncle"

"fuck off"

"What are they calling about"

"idk

i stopped paying attention when he said his name"

"So you have his name now??'

"i guess??"

"Great, you need it"

"why"

"Have you been checking AnonCupid?"

"no basebook rember"

"Oh right"

Donut started typing, then went offline. When he returned, it was with a screenshot of the BaseBook post and the comments under it. There were thirteen responses, five of them visible on the screenshot. He checked the names and pictures, but they were all strangers saying variations of "I fit the description but not the location and/or the sexuality". And then a second screenshot, with the rest of the replies. Right near the middle, a "michal jay cabose" commented "👀 hello 'guys' I might be into you yes". The profile picture looked similar, even though he couldn't see much. His heart nearly stopped. He was shocked enough to drop his phone on his face.

"HOLY FUCK"

"What"

"HES ONE OF THE REPLIES"

"WHAT which one"

"MICHAEL

THE EYES EMOJI ONE"

"LUCKY BISTARD"

"NO IM AN UNLUCKY BITCH

YOURE JUST THE THE BEST CUPID EVER

HOLY SHIT"

"No downplaying yourself

You managed to have your first guy crush not be straight

I didn't have that luck"

"rip"

"Yeah

Is he still on a call

Go say hi again

Put on a bisiness face"

"NO

i dont wanna talk to him

im gonna have a haert atack"

"Is he still on a call tho"

Church glanced to the spot he last saw Washington, and sure enough, he was still talking on the phone. Wait. He got up. And walked to the couch Church was desperately trying to turn invisible in. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-

"Hey." Washington started.

"Uh. Hi?" He sat up.

"Are there any more tenants here?"

"Yeah... There's the two misters Flowers, and me, and one more tenant."

"Oh? There's two misters Flowers?" Michael asked from the phone. He looked down to his phone to type a quick "yes" to Donut and close the conversation before Washington could read anything "incriminating".

"Uh. Yeah, uncle Butch and his husband... Reginald?"

"Reginald, yeah. He's the one who recommended this place to us."

"... Us?"

"Michael and me. We're gonna move in if mister... Butch, was it? Accepts us."

"Oh." Church was screaming inside. It wasn't just his crush's cousin, it was his crush too!!

"Who's the other tenant?" Washington continued the "interrogation".

"Um. That would be Tucker. Black guy, studies Greek literature or something in Blood Gulch College, cool guy, kinda perverted, sometimes rude..." His best (maybe second best now) friend and current biggest problem.

"He's not home today?"

"Classes. He'll be home a bit past sunset if nothing happens."

"Ah. Does he know about us?"

"Uh." He wanted to say he didn't know, but then he remembered what Flowers said yesterday. "No, I think uncle couldn't tell him yesterday."

"We're gonna be a surprise!" Michael beamed from the phone. Fuck, he was so beautiful.

"Yup. Our boxes will be a big surprise to anyone who doesn't notice the landlord cleaning up two whole rooms."

"David!! You're no fun!"

"That's why I'm the serious cousin."

As they started to banter, Church heard the sound of Flowers' car. And then Flowers walked in with his usual smile.

"David!" He gave the man a hug and a pat in the back. "Where's your brother?"

"Cousin. He's at home packing up some stuff. But I'm on a call with him, if you wanna talk to him."

"Oh, no need, not for now. I see you've met my nephew, little Leonard here?"

"Yep. He lent me his charger."

"Oh, that's wonderful. Ready to check out the house?"

They left so Flowers could show him the place and know him better to see if he'd be a good tenant or something. Church never bothered checking what the interviews were like, even though he feared sooner or later Flowers would pass this place down to him. That would be the day this house falls apart. He ran to his room as soon as he could, jumped on his bed, and went back to texting Donut.

"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK"

"??"

"its not his cousin

its moth of them

*both

HES GONNA LIVE HERE"

"LUCKY. BISTARD."

"DONUT NOO

im gonna die

are you working today

i wanna e s c a p e"

"Home

Come netflix n chill"

"no homo?"

"All the homo"

"hmmmmm

okay

better than dying where he can see my dead body"

"Worry not your body will be sent back to uncle Butch"

"dont call him uncle its weird when you do it"

"Uncle disagrees

Are you coming here for real or not"

"... ye"

He got up and looked out the door. No uncle or visitor in sight. He changed his clothes, picked up his keys, and left. Flowers called his name when he was halfway down the stairs.

"Oh. Uncle. Sorry, I'm. Going to a friend's house. Since you're home to do your... landlord duty, and all."

"Ah. That's alright. Do you have your keys? Your friend's address? An emergency contact?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's just Donut. I've been to his place before, remember? It's all good."

"You can never be too careful! Have fun there. Are you coming back for dinner?"

Dinner. Fuck. He didn't want to spend the night with Donut, he had classes tomorrow. But Tucker would be home for dinner. But he could probably dodge Tucker. Or at least answer his questions as vaguely as he could. And Flower's food was always better than whatever takeout he and Donut would probably order. Difficult decision. Wait. Unless...

"Uhh let me check something with him." He picked his phone and texted Donut. "do you wanna come have dinner here"

"I have work early tomorrow"

"and i have classes??

bring a change of clothes or something

ill even help you with the shop til time to go to class if you want"

"Hhhhhh ok yeah

I wanna eat uncle's food"

"k" He closed the messages. "Donut asked if he can come have dinner here?"

"Oh, of course he can! The more the merrier, right? He is always welcome!"

"Great! I'm off then." He ran down the stairs before Flowers could say anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And off we go to see Donut's apartment!


	3. (Not a trace of) Doubt in my mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand more people speak! time to add some more character tags

Donut’s apartment was just a short walk from home, and looked much like his own: a room in a shared house. He had more "neighbors" than Church, though. His landlord was just as eccentric, an old man who was known only as "Sarge", who seemed to know and rival Flowers somehow. The other tenants were a computer nerd, a pair of siblings whose apartment always smelled like the best food Church would never eat, and Donut’s boyfriend.

"Halt!" The landlord greeted him from behind the gate.

"Hi, mr. Sarge." He sighed. This would probably take a while. "May I go in?"

"State your purpose!"

"I'm here to visit Donut. Like always."

"Are you trying to seduce him? To corrupt him into becoming a blue like you?"

"What? No! I'm really just visiting. I'm not..." He wanted to say "into guys" like usual, but that was proving itself to be a lie. "Donut has a boyfriend, you know."

The man gave him an angry huff, and picked the phone to call Donut and ask if Church was allowed to go in. When he finished the call with a positive from Donut, he made one more angry noise, and let Church in.

Sarge was kinda weird, and the biggest reason why Church avoided the robotics side of the engineering department. He was, unfortunately, a permanent part of the university's staff, like a weird robot-making ghost forever haunting the robotics labs, but physical and alive and with some kind of weird animosity against the Flowers house. At least the tenants got free rides to engineering street, which was probably the reason why the two tenants who were in university were both in engineering courses. Computer nerd was, as expected, a computer engineering major, like Church, and the other one was a food engineering major. Donut never even considered university, he was too busy job-hunting to support himself after getting kicked out of his family for being gay, and the other tenant, the food engineer's sibling, was a young girl, probably barely out of high school, working as a waitress in any restaurant she could find nearby. Church sometimes thought she should try her luck as a model instead, she dressed like those "exotic" bright fashion show models, but he knew not many places valued plus-size models. A shame. The final tenant, Donut's boyfriend, was already out of school, working as a nurse in a local clinic.

He walked to Donut's room, and the pinkness of it all still surprised him every time. That and the terrible sign on the door saying "welcome to the donut hole". It did have a bit more purple in it now though, thanks to his boyfriend. Who was sitting on the bed instead of Donut.

"Hey!" He greeted. "I... forgot your name, but hey there, Franklie's friend!"

"Church. And no worries, I don't know your name either."

"Frank DuFresne. Nice to meet you, Church!"

"DuFeh- DuFra- DiFruh... Fuck, do you have a nickname or something?"

"... Doc. That's what the other tenants call me."

"Oh. Yeah, I can pronounce Doc."

"Still. Not a doctor, please don't call me for medical advice."

"Sure, whatever. Is Donut home?"

"Yeah, he's just getting some food downstairs."

Church sat down beside the bed. Donut came back a few minutes later, with a bowl of sandwiches.

"Church! SO. Is it ok for Frankie to know about your little crush 'dilemma'?"

"Uhh I think? As long as he doesn't tell anyone. Especially not Tucker, or anyone who might tell Tucker."

"I assure you, I have no idea who Tucker is." The man confessed his ignorance almost proudly.

"Great. Now that Church is here, and we have our votes of secrecy, we can start." Donut smiled as he closed the door ominously. And then he screeched.

"OUCH. My ears, Donut!"

"Sorry, I'm just so excited!! You're gonna live with your crush!"

"Ooh, I hope he doesn't awkwardly sneak out of every room he sees his crush in like you did for the whole first month of knowing my age while you were still crushing on me!"

"Frankie!" Donut gasped and pushed Doc.

"God, I can't believe I'm locked in this situation and the only people I can talk with are two gay dumbasses with the same first name." Church groaned and threw himself on the floor.

" _Almost_ same first name. It's Frank and Franklin." Donut corrected him.

"What's a Franklin if not just a long Frank." He mumbled.

"I don't think I'm all that longer than Frankie." Donut said, making Church curl into a ball of embarrassment for catching the innuendo. "And I bet you ten bucks he will be even worse." He extended a hand to Doc.

"I don't want to bet against what you know of your friends, if you want ten bucks you know you can just ask." Doc smiled and kissed his hand.

"Oh, you! You know I don't need a sugar daddy anymore." Anymore??

"Ew, you guys are disgusting."

"And what have you to say about yourself, mister gay robocop?" Doc asked, with more curiosity in his expression than Church expected. And the weirdest thing he'd ever been called.

"Mister what??"

"Gay robocop! It's from an old song I used to listen to as a child. Not that I'm too old to have had the same childhood songs as you guys, but." He pulled out his phone and went quiet, probably searching the song. Right, he was a few years older than Church and Donut, wasn't he? He got the video, a really long one that he skipped straight to a part of it. It was a very low quality video of a concert, and not very what Church could expect at all. The song started with a long guitar before the singer walked in dressed in a messy blond wig and a very short dress that he was constantly pulling up to flash his underwear, making the audience scream. He didn't blame them, the man looked pretty good, even for a mostly straight guy like Church. He didn't speak a lick of Spanish, but just by the tone of the man's voice he could tell it was probably a rude gay caricature. The song sounded weirdly fun, but he ended up more distracted by the singer's looks. Was this what it was like to be into guys or was he just being weird?

"Is he actually straight?" He let slip about a minute into the song. Doc laughed at the question.

"Oh I thought the same thing when I watched him as a child! He looked pretty bi, but I think he was really just straight. Unfortunately."

"Oh. What's he singing about?"

"Some stereotypes, mostly. And some support to the community, although still kinda prejudiced."

Doc didn't pause the video as they talked, so the song ended, and the man started to strip? to the sound of the pink panther theme. He took off his wig, and Church could see the guy looked vaguely like Donut, but with dark hair. He took off the shoes? And now... Wait, What?

"He's really going to take off all his clothes??"

Doc laughed. He probably had seen the video a million times, but it was a pretty weird thing for Church. Even Donut looked impressed, so he was probably right to think the guy had a good body. God, he looked like every movie's gay stripper. Especially now that he was wearing only a tie and a... very weird horned hat, and moving his hips like that... Doc closed the video now that the next song was starting and he got to "impress" his boyfriend and their guest with the "striptease" bit.

They took a moment to remember what they were talking about, and went back. Church decided to trust them with his screaming about how bright his crush's smile was, and how beautiful he looked, and the panic of knowing he'd be living with Church if everything went well with Flowers, and the fear of what Tucker might say... And then he stopped. Oh shit. Tucker! What would he say when Church arrived for dinner? He probably wouldn't avoid Church completely just because of Donut, but he'd surely not try to ask too many questions if Donut was with him... Right? They decided that was probably right. And that they should post some kind of update on Anonymous Cupid.

"Handsome stranger with the bright blue eyes in engineering street: this is your anonymous crush. I saw you again. Not on campus, but I did. I may have said hello. I got to hear your voice and look at your face. And I am even more in love. I didn't think I was into guys until I saw you, and now I really hope you might at least give me a chance even if you're not into guys yet."

Doc had a night shift and left them at around sunset. Church and Donut decided to leave a bit after that, as it was getting a bit late. Donut agreed to stay the night, mostly because they both knew Flowers would never let him walk home so late (and 10 pm was very late by Flowers' standards), so he packed a change of clothes and they headed out.

It was weird to think of the passage of time, but they really spent a whole day eating sandwiches and talking about crushes and embarrassing moments. In comparison, the walk to Church's home was nothing.

Flowers was finishing preparing dinner when they arrived. Tucker was helping him, and looked almost surprised to see Church and Donut. Donut decided it was best for him to go leave his bag on Church's room and leave him to face Tucker on his own for a bit. Traitor, Church thought as he cursed Donut in his mind.

"Oh wow, haven't seen _that one_ in a while. Is that why you were avoiding me?" He got out of the kitchen to "greet" him.

"What, I can't spend time with my other friends?"

"I don't know man, it seems to me like he's turning into more than just a friend."

"What?? Donut has a boyfriend already! And he's not my type anyway."

"... Don't you usually reply with 'I'm not into guys'?" Tucker looked at him with suspicion. Fuck, he was too good at reading Church.

"So? I'm not an NPC, I can change what I say." He answered nervously. This would not end well. This is why he brought Donut with him, not to be abandoned. Damn you, Donut!

"Nerd. But that's not my point! You said he's not your type, which means some guys are your type!"

"Uh. No? I meant 'guy' is not my type?"

"You're a terrible liar, you know?"

"I... I'm not lying. You may not believe me if you want, but that doesn't mean I'm lying." He looked away and left, really hoping Tucker would not stop him.

And he didn't - Flowers called him back to the kitchen before he could go after Church. Church didn't stop to hear what they were talking about, but by his uncle's tone of voice he could guess he was scolding Tucker, either about leaving to bother Church or about homophobia. He didn't care either way, he just climbed the stairs and went to his room to find Donut.

"You fucking traitor! You know I only brought you here to avoid him!!" He pointed angrily at Donut, who just laughed and moved to give Church a space in the bed.

"Sometimes it's better to face your problems head-on, you know." Church glared at him and flopped on the bed. "Besides, you did a pretty decent job if he didn't follow you here."

"Uncle called him before he could. And you know that's not gonna save me forever."

"How did the conversation with him go, then?"

"... I said you're not my type, and now he thinks I'm into guys."

"He's not wrong. Next time just say yes and ask if he's interested, see what he does."

"No thanks, I like not being dead to half the people I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also Tucker's back! I wanna redeem him but I don't know for sure, so for now he continues to be bad straight. Let's see how the dinner goes next chapter  
> ((BYY the way [this is the video Doc shows them](https://youtu.be/OsWEMnlgx-U)! The song starts at around 19:06 and Doc closes it at around 25:16. The song is also not in Spanish. I don't speak Spanish and neither do any characters I can control. Church isn't language smart at all though, so he has no idea))


	4. Oh, love was out to get me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow meals are so awkward, why do we even eat where people can see and talk to us (also howdy I'm not dead)

Dinner was awkward. Tucker kept trying to bring up crushes, Church insisted on dodging that, and Donut was just trying to eat as much of Flowers' food as he could. After a good two minutes of silence and angry stares, Donut decided to start a new conversation with the one person who was least interested in talking during meal time.

"So, mr Butch." He started, and received a small glare that would have stopped the other two immediately. "I heard there was gonna be a new tenant?"

The question was greeted with a smile, much to the two tenants' surprise. Butch hated talking during meals.

"Oh! Yes, yes! My husband met these two lovely young men looking for a new place to live during his job out there, and recommended them this place. One of them came by today, and I just might let them stay! And speaking of, neither of you have cat allergies, right?" Church and Tucker shook their heads, almost in shock. "Excellent! It'll be a pleasure to have a few little furry friends livening up the house."

"So... Still no girl tenants?" Tucker asked quietly.

"Not for now! But who knows, perhaps Dear Lina might drop by one of these days?" Dear Lina was Church's sister and her band. Sometimes they dropped by, when they weren't busy with shows. His sister, Carolina, was cool, but not very friendly. And definitely not someone Tucker would ever hit on. Not again.

"Aw. This sucks! It's like the universe is trying to make me go gay to get laid." He said dramatically, staring at Church the whole time.

"If that'll cure your homophobia." Donut shot an angry look at him.

"I'm not homophobic! I just don't like guys, or people who get laid more than me, or..."

"That's basically anyone!"

"No it's not!"

"Okay, list three people who don't fit any of those criteria." Tucker went quiet, thinking on Donut's words. He probably didn't have enough friends to answer that. Donut smiled triumphantly. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Whatever." Tucker got up, plate empty, and headed to the kitchen to wash it and go back to his room.

The rest of the night was awkwardly quiet, but at least Tucker didn't bother them. Church and Donut slept almost early, and headed to the coffee shop early, skipping breakfast to eat at the shop. One of the owners, the twin who claimed his name to be North, was there, and did not let Church help, but he stayed to make Donut company anyway. It was a Wednesday morning, so Church's classes wouldn't start for another almost two hours.

Church knew the new tenants would arrive soon, but he didn't expect them to be there and almost completely settled in by the weekend. So it was a shock when he walked into the kitchen on the Sunday morning and found his uncle having breakfast with his crush in person.

"Oh, Leonard! Meet Michael, he's our other new tenant. You met his cousin already, right?"

"... Hi." Church greeted him. His heart was racing from the surprise. He just woke up, his hair was messy as hell, and there his crush was, sitting perfect and beautiful beside his uncle.

"Michael is a very nice boy, and he's also in the technology area of Blood Gulch College!"

"Huh... Guess we'll walk to school together sometimes, then?"

"Yes! That would be... very neat. Thank you." Michael answered, hesitating to show his excitement.

"... Where's your cousin?"

"David? Oh, I didn't want to wake him up for breakfast so early because I don't think he's been sleeping well with all the worries about finding jobs, and caring for me, and moving, and..." He paused for a moment, and looked down at his cup. Was that... Was that cereal in his coffee?? "Yeah, he's... He's sleeping."

"At least he's enjoying his new room!" Flowers laughed. He got up to wash his dishes. "Ah, Leonard, are you still on bad terms with Lavernius? I was just about to go wake him up for breakfast."

"No, I... I don't know, maybe? But you can wake him up if you want, I'm not gonna start a fight during breakfast."

"Great! It's about time to wake everyone up, breakfast is the most important meal." He finished and went upstairs with a glass of water that Church knew was not for drinking.

"So..." Church started as he poured himself some coffee, but with no idea how to continue.

"Yes?"

"Uh. I don't know, I..." He paused for a sip and to think of what to say next. "... How do you like the place so far?"

"Oh, it's really neat! I like that I finally have my own room to do whatever I want. And..." He looked around, slightly distracted. He made some calling noises, and a few moments later a big calico cat came running and jumped on his lap. "Have you met Freckles??" He offered the cat to Church.

"No, I... I almost forgot you guys brought pets." Church petted the cat's head carefully. It didn't seem aggressive, but it had a mean look on its eyes.

"Yeah! Freckles and Loki, they're boyfriends! Loki is probably in David's room so he won't come down right now. He really likes David."

"Not as much as he likes his boyfriend." David said, coming down the stairs with a fluffy gray cat in his arms and Tucker behind him. He let the cat down, and it immediately went to Freckles, who jumped from Michael's lap to greet the other cat with a headbump.

"Morning." Church greeted.

Tucker gave him an awkward look, but didn't say anything. The two new arrivals sat on the table and started serving themselves. There was so much food. Uncle Butch really liked breakfast. Coffee, tea, milk, cereals, scrambled eggs, cheese, bread, fruit slices, cake... There was probably enough food for a second breakfast and some more.

"So... New guys!" Tucker started. Right, he didn't know either of them, did he? "I'm Tucker, Lavernius Tucker. I'm the oldest tenant, and probably the smartest too." He grinned his mischievously grin. "I'm in the humanities department of BGC if you guys ever want a guide to the better half of the university."

Church threw a cereal at him.

"Humanities is like nerdland supreme, no one wants to go there."

" _You're_ in nerdland supreme, computer boy. Humanities rule!"

"Well." David coughed. "Nice to meet you. I'm Washington, David Washington. And this is my cousin."

"Michael Jay Caboose, nice to meet you!"

"I see that you prefer surnames here? If that's the case, you may call me Wash. I won't be home all that often when I go back to working, but you can expect me to be here every few weeks at least. Please take good care of us."

"Yeah, sure." Tucker said. "I'm not gonna lie, I was really hoping the new tenants would be pretty ladies. But you guys don't look all that bad. 6/10, would hit on if I was drunk."

"Wow, that's like the worst compliment I've ever heard from you." Church laughed. "Weren't you supposed to be, like, the bitter homophobe?"

"Fuck off, I'm growing as a person! I don't want to be a big asshole you have to cut from your life when you decide to finally come out and say you're really dating Donut."

"I'm not!! Donut has a boyfriend, and I don't think I'm even his type! Why are you so hung up on this idea??"

"He's like the only gay I know. Not counting you."

"I'm. Not. Gay!"

"I'm bi!" Michael said with a smile, almost like that was an automatic response.

"You are?" Church looked at him, and felt like he might have blushed if he wasn't busy arguing with Tucker. Holy shit, he might have a chance. He really might have a chance!

"Yeah, I don't really care about gender. As long as you're nice and Freckles likes you, I like you. But... Freckles doesn't really like many people."

Wash laughed, and threw a bit of salami at the cats. Loki jumped and ate it before Freckles could even react properly.

"He's just not used to new people. You can't expect him to like people at first sight, cats don't work like fairy tales."

"You don't believe in love at first sight?" Church asked.

"Not really. Do you?"

"Well, the only two crushes I've ever had were love at first sight, though the first one... didn't turn out that great."

"Tex was an asshole! I don't know why you even tried to be with them." Tucker chimed in.

" _She_ wasn't a complete asshole, she just... didn't like me as much? I don't know."

"I'm glad you broke up. They... She. Was gonna get you killed one day."

"... And the other one?" Wash asked, after a moment of silence.

"I... I'm still working on it."

"Oh. Good luck, I guess?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Sooo, my boy has a crush? Is that why you were avoiding me? Is it someone I know?"

"If you know everyone I see, yeah, why not."

"Who is she?... Is it a she?"

"I... don't know? And... probably not. I don't wanna talk about it right now."

"Is it at least a real person?"

" _Yes_ , Tucker, I did not fall for a cartoon. I'm not a weirdo like you. Can we _please_ change the subject?"

"Alright." Wash started. "What do you think of the cats?"

"What, those ones? They look... nice. Kinda feel like I might get attacked if I try to touch them when you two aren't looking, but. They look cool."

"Oh yeah, the color-y one definitely looks like he wants to kill me." Tucker agreed.

"Freckles? That's just his normal face, I promise you he's... mostly harmless."

They laughed, and disagreed, and changed subjects a few times before finishing the meal and doing the dishes and dispersing before Flowers came down to make lunch. It was nice to have a proper not too awkward conversation with his friend for the first time in a while. And get to talk to his crush for the first time. And have a good meal while at it. Church went back to his room in a good mood for probably the first time this week, and spent a good hour or two looking up "how to befriend a cat".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the tale of homophobic Tucker ends (jk he still needs to work on it. But he's trying! He doesn't want to lose his friend). The cats are completely inaccurate to cats who've just arrived somewhere new, and to cats in a kitchen with food, and... Yeah, the cats are just inaccurate in general. Fun fact I did not elaborate on text: the glass of water was to throw or pour on Tucker (and/or Wash) if he didn't wake up immediately. Red Base is a gay found family, Blue Base is an evil rented family


	5. That's the way it seems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quarantine has yet to kill me. Hello

Tucker was trying to be supportive. He was trying to understand, and he was avoiding laughing at his friends' homophobic jokes, even telling Andy off once. He wanted to do better. He didn't want to lose his friend. And the only two people he knew to ask (other than the internet) were very suspicious of his desire to know better, which was probably a sign he had to change.

The first, of course, was Donut. He decided to go to the cafe Donut worked on for the first time in as long as he could remember. He only ever went there when Church forced him to, so it was a surprise for Donut to see him in the middle of the afternoon when he knew Church was not there.

"You." Donut said, in as annoyed a voice as he could make. Tucker was still not convinced that was his real voice.

"Me. Hey... Donut." He was also not convinced that was his real name. "I'm here to... Apologize, I guess? For being an asshole. And anything else I might have done. I don't know. And! To say I want to learn! About Church... And all this gay or. Not straight. Stuff."

"Suure... But you're gonna have to buy something first." He discreetly pointed to one of his bosses, glaring at Tucker from her spot inside the shop.

The two owners gave him the creeps. First of all, the obviously fake names. Who the fuck has twins and names them North and South. Second of all, Dakota is totally not a real surname, and only makes the first point weirder. Third, they're just really creepy people. The North guy puts on a nice face and acts chill and caring, but that's just plain creepy. He'd know, his landlord is exactly like that. The South chick? Evil. Doesn't even hide. She files her nails to be pointy like claws, and she looks like she's always ready to beat up a bad customer. Not that Tucker would know, he's only been here before like two or three times, but he's seen enough of them. And! They both dye their hair purple, and that is very weird for serious business adults.

He ordered something and sat on a table as Donut instructed. After a few minutes, Donut brought his order and sat down with him. He seemed to have permission from his boss to do this, because she was no longer glaring like she would kill him.

"Just so you know, I still hate you, and I won't forgive you that easily. Now! You have five minutes until I go back to the counter, so. Start the questions!" He clapped like a movie director.

"Okay, first of all. You and Church? Really just friends?"

"Yes!" He almost yelled with anger at the question. "Why do people keep asking that!! We! Are not! A couple!!! He's not my type, I'm not his type, we are not a thing!! Gays can be friends with guys without wanting to fuck them, you know!"

"Sorry! Sorry. And... He said he's not gay. But he seems to like guys now? So what's up with that."

"Bisexual. He's bi. He likes girls, he likes guys, he might like people who are neither, I don't know."

"And is that like... New? For him? Did he just, like. Press a button on life's computer and start liking guys??"

"I don't know! I can't know how long he's been bi. He just is." He took a moment to breathe and consider adding something else. "He probably liked guys before, he just never found any guys who actually caught his attention. Isn't that what you straights say to us, that we just haven't found 'the one' yet?"

"So can that happen to me too? Like, see a guy and turn gay? Or... Bi?"

"... Do you want that to happen?"

"No?? I. I don't think so?"

"Then yeah, probably not."

"Oh! And. Do you know who his new crush is?"

Donut froze for a moment, his face paled with shock.

"Mmmaybe?" Yeah, he definitely knew. "But I can't tell you!"

"What? Why not!"

"Church asked me not to say a word to you, so I will not say a word to you!"

"Shit." Tucker dropped his head in defeat. "Can you at least tell me if it's someone I know?"

"Nope, can't tell you!"

"Oh, I bet it is." He stopped to think about it. Who did he and Church know and only meet recently enough for Church to say it was love at first sight? Wait. Was it... "Is it one of the new guys??"

Donut's eyes widened. He was getting closer.

"No??" He cleared his throat. "Anyways, enough of this. I'm not gonna play hot and cold with you. If you don't have any more questions, I'll be returning to my real job!"

"Alright, one last question. Is your name really Donut?"

"My name is Franklin, actually. Donut is my surname."

"But it's still your real name??"

"Yes?"

"It's so... Ridiculous."

" _You_ 're ridiculous."

"I think it's a lovely name." The North boss showed up, and patted Donut on the shoulder, calling him back to work. Had it been five minutes already?

Before he left, Donut gave Tucker a little smile, less angry than his customer service smile.

"You should look this stuff up on the internet if you don't get it. I'm sure there's people there who can explain the subject much better than me."

Tucker left, feeling a bit lost. The food was good, the talk was what he expected, but the place was still owned by two creepy bosses, so he did not plan on returning anytime soon. Not alone. He went back home, pulled out his phone, and sent a message to person two.

"Heyy Carolina!"

"Church's friend."

"Tucker, yea

Hey

Sorry I uh. Hit on u? In front of ur boyfriends n girlfriend? N then almost had my arm ripped off by u? But i want to ask some stuff n ure my only option right now"

"Is it related to sex in any way?"

"Not with me, that much i can say"

"...

Alright, shoot."

"Cool

So. Ure bi right?"

"Yeah."

"Whats that like"

"What?"

"Do u like. Just like everyone. Is there limits. Do u have different types for chicks n dudes. That kinda stuff"

"I do not like just anyone I see any more than you do. I do have types. Different ones, more than one per gender too. And... I don't know what else you may want to know?

Oh! Let it be known: you are not any of my types."

"Ouch

Thats fine, this isnt about me

So. Did butch tell u the news"

"About the new tenants?"

"Yea"

"Yes, he did tell me he got two new tenants."

"Cool

So. The thing is. I think ur bro likes one of them??

Sorry if i shouldnt b saying this"

"Yeah, might be a bit rude to be spreading unconfirmed gossips about people behind their backs.

But why do you think that?"

"Hes been acting all weird, n he mentioned he got a new crush, n im like 90% sure its one of them cuz he said it was crush at first sight n thats the last new peeps i know hes seeing"

"Oh

Uh

Good for him??

I just hope whoever it is they're better than the last one

He probably sees a lot of new people in university all the time though so it could be someone completely unrelated

Don't get your hopes up"

"Im not! I dont give a shit if he gets a bf or not im just relaying to u the facts ive gathered

N yeahh fuck Tex"

"Why are you even telling me this then"

"Bcos

I want to learn how to be a better friend to him

I know ive been shitty. N I know i cant blame it on my upbringing forever n never try to learn better. N now its something that affects me way more

directly. I just... I wanna do better

N i thought id talk to u bcos ure cool n u know about this stuff"

"Oh

Thanks?

You should ask him about this. See what he's comfortable with telling you, and accept that there will always be things he won't want to say. 

You can't know everything about him, no matter how good a friend you are, and that's ok."

"Yah i know

Thanks anyways carolina

Btw

When are u coming to meet the new guys"

"When uncle Reg comes back."

"Is that gonna b soon"

"Who knows :)"

Oh, an emoji. That was new.

He had nothing else he could ask, so he closed the messages and closed his eyes. So the conclusion of his day was... Ask the internet again, and talk to Church. Yeap, he was not gonna do either of those anything soon. He turned on his computer and proceeded to stare at his homework. He should probably be worrying about his studies more.

Michael was bored. He had no classes today, the other tenants were busy with classes or homework, and mister Butch was busy with his house things. David was busy too, looking for his next job. So his only option was to watch the cats and ignore the boxes of things he still had to set up.

Freckles was being a very good boy, and only exploring the good places. He did not try to go into any rooms he shouldn't go into, like everyone's bedrooms, and he did not try to break anything. Loki, on the other hand, was being a very bad boy and going everywhere he couldn't follow him. He did not try to go outside, which was very good, but he tried to break many cups and decorations, and he invaded everyone's bedrooms, and Michael had no idea what he did inside.

He was bored. He had to start research, and make himself a snack, and see if he forgot to do any other homework, and maybe start to make a nice to meet you gift to the other tenants and mister Butch (and the other mister Flowers, but he wasn't here yet), and...

He took out his phone and took a picture of Freckles. He had so many pictures of the cats, and so few of him or David or anyone really. He opened Basebook and checked Anonymous Cupid. He wanted to see if the case of the blue-eyed stranger had had more progress. He was sure he was probably not the target, but it was fun seeing people looking for love in such a way. Like looking up lyrics to find a song but you don't understand a word it says. The only update was the one from the day David came to check the place and seal the contract. The update said he greeted the blue-eyed stranger that day, so that surely couldn't be him. The only people he talked to that day were David and Leonard, and he was pretty sure Leonard couldn't be the one writing these.

His thoughts were disturbed by a noise of something falling on the floor from... Leonard's room?? He went there to peek through the semi open door, finding inside exactly what he expected: Loki, carelessly walking through the table and dropping things for no reason.

"Bad kitty! Bad! Come back here right now!" He yelled at the cat, which looked at him and continued his activities. "Loki!!" He laid down in front of the door and made calling noises, occasionally calling the cat or scolding him. He did not go one millimeter past the door, only laying there and calling the cat for an unknown amount of time, so it was awkward when he looked up and saw Leonard almost passing over him. "Oh. Uhh... Hello?"

"... Hi." Leonard answered. "Why... What are you doing?"

"Oh I was. Trying to get Loki to come out. I think he dropped some of your things? Yeah he's. He's a bad kitty."

"Riight." Leonard walked over him and into the room, and put his bag on the floor before assessing the damage and picking up the cat awkwardly. "You... You can come in if you want."

"Oh." Michael got up, dusted himself a bit, and hesitantly took a step inside. He picked up the cat from Leonard's hands. "I hope he didn't break anything important." He raised the cat to eye level, and shook him playfully. "You! Are a very bad boy! I will tell your boyfriend about this!!"

Leonard laughed quietly.

"No, I think he didn't break anything. Just made a bit of a mess." He started to pick up his stuff from the floor. "Is he always like this?"

"Not really? I think he's just angry David kicked him out of his room today."

"Oh. That's good to know." He looked at the floor, seeing nothing else to pick up, and stood up, smiling awkwardly at Michael. "Ah. By the way... When I said you can come in... It's not just now. You can come in whenever you need, or. Whenever you want. Just... Knock first, please." Was he... Blushing?

"Oh! Sure." Michael smiled. "I... I'll go put Loki on time out now. I hope you had a good day in class!"

"Yeah... See ya." Leonard waved him goodbye and closed the door.

Michael took the cat to his room and placed him inside the cat box.

"You have been very bad and dropped lots of Leonard's things!" He scolded the cat. "And as much as I liked talking to him, I don't need you being naughty for that!! So I will keep you arrested... For fifteen minutes!"

He locked the cat and set a timer, and laid down in bed. Was it really late afternoon already? It had to be. Leonard was home, and so was Tucker. David probably was still busy, and he had no idea what mister Butch was doing. His head started getting fuzzy and making bright and warm and wiggly thoughts. Happy? Yeah, this was probably happy. He had a conversation! With a real life person who was not a classmate. It was short, kinda awkward, but it was a conversation anyway. And Leonard seemed like a pretty neat guy! He said he could go to his room whenever, and he also said they could go to class together sometime. Is this what friendship is like? He was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this a short chapter?? I don't know. I'm pretty sure this is a short chapter. Hello anyway. We might be getting somewhere. Maybe.


	6. (Reminder)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for Wash!! It's short, I just wanted to add some Wash content because I love him.

Wash took a deep breath, gathered his courage, and knocked on the door.

"What." Came the answer from inside, half distracted.

"Can I... Come in?"

"Sure."

He opened the door and stepped inside carefully, looking around. Church was on his bed doing something on his phone. Great.

"Hey... Church. I need to ask you a favor."

"Oh?"

"So... My computer kinda... Broke."

"You want me to fix it?"

"No, no need. Michael's gonna check it out when he can, but that's gonna be at least a day. I just... wanted to ask if I could use yours? It might take a while to finish what I need to do, but..."

"Sure."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah, I'm not using it right now. Mi computer es su computer, or something." He gestured to the desk, not really looking away from his phone.

Well... that was easy. Much easier than he expected. He turned on the computer, got the password from Church (who just told him what to type instead of getting up to type it himself? That level of trust around someone else's computer was a first for him), and plugged his camera in it. He had to update his address, add some photos to his portfolio, make a virtual backup of all his files just in case, check some things he couldn't do on his phone, look for jobs again...

"Hey... Wash, right?" Church broke the silence after what felt like five minutes, although the clock would say fourty.

"Yeah."

"What are you doing?"

"... Updating my portfolio?"

"Oh, cool. I've never seen your work. You're a photographer, right?"

"Yeah. You... Want to see my pictures?"

"Uh. Only if it's not gonna mess with your work? I don't want to interrupt."

"It's ok, I'm mostly done with the 'add pictures' part of the update, you can probably access the site no problem. You like pictures?"

"More than I like staring at lines of code."

Wash laughed, and gave him a link to the portfolio site. Church took his time exploring the picture, making small noises of amusement, and after a while he spoke up.

"Man, you've been like everywhere!"

He smiled slightly.

"Yeah... It's not that amazing actually, I usually try to stay close to wherever Mike and I are living at the moment. We... have moved around quite a bit in these last few years."

"I can see." Church said as he kept looking through the pictures. "So you two are like. Actual cousins just traveling the country, or...?" 

"Yeah, we... We are cousins, yes." He closed his eyes and turned away from the computer a bit. He needed a break. "My mother was his father's sister, and when I was a kid she and my father just... left me with Mike's family and disappeared god knows where to. I haven't heard a word about them since, and I never really thought to look for them, I was pretty happy in the Caboose house. And then some stuff happened, and we had some... _disagreements_ with the rest of his family, so we left. That was... What, six years ago at least? We haven't stopped moving since then."

"Oh. Sorry if that's not something you wanted to talk about with a guy you barely know. I didn't mean to step into that."

"Nah, it's ok. It's just... Your typical 'gay kids kicked out of the family' story."

"Right, he did mention being bi. And you...?"

"Gay. 100% just into guys."

"Cool! Cool. I have a friend who's like that. I mean... He's gay and kicked out of the family too. His name is Donut."

"Ah, I think I remember you mentioning him before."

"Yeah! He's really cool. And he works in a pretty cool coffee shop with his cousins who I'm preeety sure aren't all that straight either. I could take you there one of these days?... You and Caboose?"

"... My memory is not the greatest, but I'm pretty sure you mentioned having a crush on someone you met recently. Is that crush... Me?"

"What? Noo! I... No. I. It's. Definitely not you. You're hot and all, but. It's not you. Sorry, I'm just... Trying to be friendly, I guess?"

"Oh. In that case, sorry I misunderstood, and I'd love to go on that coffee date with you and Michael."

"Great! I... Don't know when it will be, but. It's set!"

Wash wanted to laugh a bit. He pulled out his phone and wrote down a little note. He had so many notes.

"Hey, do you mind if I leave it like that for today? I'm uploading some... Lots of files, I don't know when it'll be done, so."

"Yeah, sure. You don't mind leaving your camera here?"

"I trust you won't break it."

"You trust your cat won't break it either?"

"... I'll trust you won't let him break it."

"Alright then." Church laughed and waved him goodbye.

Wash left the room with a smile. It was nice to feel welcome in a place he wanted to call home. It's been a while since he last felt truly at home as much as he had felt during that short time in Church's room. He thought Church would be a more serious and reserved "don't touch my things or I'll get my uncle to evict you" guy, but he was just... a nice normal nerdy guy? He added that to the note about people. It was a kind of weird but necessary thing he had, always writing notes about everything and everyone. He knew his brain was getting better from the accident, but he still didn't trust himself enough. He didn't want to forget important things. He didn't want to forget anything, but he knew that was just not possible anymore. So he took notes, and notes, and notes. He never erased anything, only saved it somewhere else.

An alarm came from his phone, breaking his moment of contemplation over his notes. Time to feed the cats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to feed and water yourself and your pets


	7. You'll never know if you don't go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have given up on using I'm A Believer verses for chapter titles. I am not strong enough.

And so, the coffee date was set. They decided to go on a day of Church and Caboose having classes around the same time. Tucker had classes too, but he wasn't invited. Wash had a car, which was very convenient, and Church guided him with directions to the Dakotas' coffee shop. The place was nice and organized, and not very full. Donut was helping with the kitchen instead of the tables, so they were greeted by South.

"Here for Donut again? His boyfriend's gonna get jealous." She joked at Church before taking their orders.

They ordered, and picked a table.

"So, what's up with this place?" Wash asked, looking around.

"Nothing much. It's just a nice small place near college, and I'm friends with the waiter. Food's good, price's good, wifi's good..."

"Oh, so you admit you come here to steal our wifi?" A familiar pink man appeared behind him. Church laughed at Donut's attempt at a stern look.

"Yeah, if it'll make you happy. Wash, Caboose, this is Donut. Donut, Wash and Caboose."

"The new tenants?" Donut looked at them.

"Yes, nice to meet you." Wash greeted him.

"You look like a donut person." Caboose vagued.

"Thank you, I do my best to look my sweetest!" He sat down with them. "So, what do you boys think of the new place? Personally I love it there!"

"It's... pretty nice? Feels kinda strange to think that we won't be moving out in a year or less, but... It's a good strange, I think." Wash answered first.

"I'm having fun! Everyone's really nice to us, and Freckles has been very un-grumpy, so that's neat! Oh! Freckles is my cat, would you like to see a picture of him?" Caboose enthused.

"Sure! I love a good cat picture."

Caboose pulled out his phone and picked a photo of Freckles sleeping on a pillow. He then scrolled to find a picture of Freckles with Loki on top of him, that, judging by the speed he found it, must be a picture he really liked, enough to memorize its place in his gallery.

"Aw, they're really cute! Are they both boys?"

"Yeah!!" He beamed. Then added quietly, "Gay cat rights."

"Heck yeah, gay cat rights!" Donut laughed.

"So... You seem pretty... Familiar to and with the Flowers house. You lived there before?" Wash asked.

"Nope! I just visit Church a lot. My dad... My landlord doesn't like that building or its tenants much for some reason. Church and I think he might have a thing for uncle Butch that turned into a thing against him somehow?"

"Oh. And... He's your father?"

"Kinda! He basically adopted me after I was kicked out of my family... I don't know if Church told you, but... I'm gay. And my parents didn't like that. At all. So I got kicked out. And Sarge found me, and let me stay in his house for free. And he's like the cool gay dad I've always wanted to have!"

"Wait, did you just say 'Sarge'?"

"... Yeah?"

"Isn't that... Mike, isn't that your professor?"

"Ah! Yes... That is his name and I definitely did not forget that until you pointed it out!" Caboose answered, looking more focused on his food than on the conversation.

"You're in robotics??" Church turned to Caboose, wide-eyed.

"Yes! I love robots! I came here to learn to make the best robot ever! And we will be best friends!!"

"Oh, _great_. And so ends my record of longest time avoiding Sarge's lab." He searched through his phone to find the counter. "Current time: 76 days."

"You know Sarge?!" Caboose asked enthusiastically.

"Yeah... You could say that." Church answered, less than unenthusiastic. "Let's just say he _really_ dislikes me."

"Did you do something bad to make him angry?" He tilted his head curiously.

"Nope, he just hates me for living at uncle's place. He probably will get mad at you too for living there. It's... Probably ok."

"Oh... I hope he doesn't hate me." Caboose looked down, a bit sadly.

They continued talking about Sarge, university, houses and family, before noticing it was time to go. It was a nice meal, more friendly. Donut exchanged contact info with them so they could talk more later. It was nice to have his friend be friends with his new... Friends? Housemates? Church had no idea what to think of them as. He just hoped Donut wouldn't tell Wash about his crush. Or about any of the dumb stuff he's done and said.

Sarge's lab was... A sight. The walls were painted different shades of red, and there were noticeable explosion marks, burns and grease stains in multiple places, even in the ceiling. There were messy shelves and tables in all the wrong places. The robots were no less eye-catching, with their odd shapes and bright red parts. The ones with humanoid faces were the worst, as the faces were... _bizarre_ , to say the least. Art was definitely not Sarge's forte. The robots were very asymmetrical, and many were not very functional, but the ones that did work were known as some of the best homemade robots out there. Sarge was an eccentric and possibly some shades of crazy, but he was also one of the greatest prides of BGC. Church would definitely love to study a bit of robotics if he didn't have to deal with Sarge existing and hating him for being related to Flowers. The man was working on a corner, muttering to some circuits as he placed them on a new robot.

"Hellooo!" Caboose yelled into the lab as the two entered.

Sarge looked around, stood up, smiled at Caboose and frowned at Church.

"Dirty blue." He growled at Church. "What are you doing in my lab, with my newest recruit?!"

"Nice to see you too mr Sarge. I'm just... Showing him around."

"Leonard is my new best friend!... And currently my only friend." Caboose smiled, giving Church a little hug.

"Ah! You've corrupted my recruit already... Does he live at that wretched blue base too?!"

"Yup. Sorry to disappoint you, mr. Flowers the original found them before you did." Mr. Flowers the original was how Sarge once referred to Reginald, and it left a strong impression on Church. He knew it's because Butch got the surname from his husband, but it was such a ridiculous way of saying it. Church thought about it way too often.

"Darn it! One more loss to the noble red cause."

"What even is this 'noble red cause' you're always talking about?" Church asked, half curious half annoyed.

"I can't reveal that to a dirty blue like you! And why are you still here? Waiting for a goodbye kiss from him or something?" He shooed Church while leading Caboose inside.

Church blushed, tried to say something, but gave up and turned away. He barely noticed when Caboose said to wait for him to go home together. Good thing he didn't plan on leaving alone. He'd take any opportunity he could find to be with Caboose. But right now he had a class to go to.

Tucker was a bit angry. Church left early to go on a date with the two new tenants (both of them!! That did not give him any hint on which one he had a crush on!) and then go to class with Caboose, so Tucker ended up on his own. And sure, he had plenty of friends outside the house, but it was different. He didn't pay enough attention to class, too busy cursing at Church in his head, and almost missed his break. He went to the cafeteria, and sat on a low wall instead of one of the plenty of empty tables. And despite being so far from the center of everything, he was still spotted by one of his friends. Felix. The most annoying son of a bitch in all of the humanities campus. An actor who always said he wanted to play the hero but had too strong a villainous air to ever get any "good guy" role.

"Heey Tucker! What's up with you, hiding away from the masses and the pretty girls?"

"Just... Kinda angry. Church dumped me to go be buddies with the new tenants, and didn't even offer an invitation?? I mean yeah, I would totally refuse, I'm not gonna go on a date with one to three guys, but. You get it, right?"

"Mmmm kinda? You're feeling sad and lonely and you want your best buddy back, but the evil new guys stole him from you. How terrible, how tragic. You should pick up your sword and go fight them to get your best friend back." Felix said sarcastically.

"Hah hah, very funny. I... It's not just that he's not hanging out with me, you know I'm not a jealous guy, but... I feel like I don't know him anymore? And he's so nice to the new guys, it's almost like, I don't know, like he has a crush on them?"

"Oh? Church switched to the colorful side of the force?"

"I don't know! I'm not sure, but I think he did!... I think he still likes girls, but he seems to also be into guys now. Which... Yeah, I get liking guys, if girls didn't like guys what would be of my life. But it's, like, a whole part of him that I had no idea about??"

"Hm. Sounds to me like you're a bit jealous. Do you not want him to have a boyfriend?" He gasped and made a dramatic surprised face. Sometimes Tucker really regretted befriending an actor. "Oh! Are you jealous _you_ won't be the boyfriend?"

"No!! No way! I just... Couldn't he at least... Talk to me? Tell me about this stuff?"

"I don't know if you've noticed this, Tucker, but... you're not really the most open-minded of people. You're an asshole, dude. I don't really blame him for not trusting you to talk about this stuff."

"So what do I do to make him trust me?!"

"I don't know. Have you tried cornering him when he's alone and saying something like..." Felix put on his best Tucker impression, which was not very good at all. "Church my dude, my bro, you know I love you, right? But I feel like we've been growing apart since these new guys showed up. I feel like you're turning more colorful, and I don't know how to deal with my thoughts. Tell me, what should I do? How should I act? What change in attitude do you expect from me as you change your whole identity based on the fact that you now also kiss guys?"

"I... No?? And I don't talk like that!"

"Sure you don't." He shrugged and laughed. "Maybe you should give that a try though."

Felix waved goodbye and left for his next class. Oh right, he also had to go to class. Shit. Time to forget all he just talked with Felix and go learn something boring. He definitely should ask Church for some advice now that all three of his attempts at getting help boiled down to "talk to Church". Not today though. Today he had assignments to pretend to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A wild bastard rat appears! And gives some advice!!


	8. (We need to talk)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tucker finally talks to Church

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who left a comment! I don't want to say a repetitive thanks to each comment because I feel kinda bad about not having something new to say, but I genuinely love your comments! I sometimes see comments before coming here to post a new chapter, but I try to only answer after I post something, so your comments are literally fuel for me to keep writing/updating! Hope you're all staying safe and protected during these sick times!

After a few days, Tucker gathered the courage to "corner" Church, as Felix suggested. He knocked on Church's door, and entered without waiting for an answer. It's not like Church ever did anything other than be a nerd and play nerd games on the computer anyway.

"Hey, man. There's something I wanna talk to you about."

Church was on his computer, looking through some files and lines of code. Nerd.

"Really, Tucker? Right when I finally decide to study?"

"Yeah, really. Look, I know I'm not the most... open-minded of people."

"No shit."

"I know! I said I know! But I want to be better! And I want to be your friend. And I don't know what to do. Because I feel like these guys made you bring out a part of you that you kept hidden from me all this time..."

"I wasn't hiding anything, I had no idea I liked guys either! I mean, if I stop to think about it I can probably remember a few things that seem way more obviously a nod to me liking guys, but it's not like I knew this already. It's like... I don't know, like I was hiding it from myself? I don't know, it's weird."

"Yeah, but even after that you keep avoiding me, and you don't tell me about this stuff! I feel like I don't know what to expect from you, what you expect from me, and I feel like this might be the thing that finally destroys our friendship, and I... that scares me."

"Dude... I know I haven't been the most open. That was a shitty move from me. But I'm not afraid of telling you as much as I'm afraid of you telling people. You know a lot of people, you know basically everyone I know in university, and you know some of them would completely kill my social life for this. You know some of them already hate me since... Tex. And I can only guess what they'd do if they found out I may or may not have a crush on a guy, an actual guy."

"Oh... I... Can I just promise I won't say anything about it? I mean, I might have said something to Felix already, but... From now on. No telling them anything unless you say something first."

"Yeah, that's... That's cool. Thanks, man."

"You too. And... I gotta ask. You do have a crush on a guy, right?"

"... Yes."

"And is it one of the new tenants?"

"Uh. No? Why, why would it be one of them?"

"I don't know, you just seem awfully nice and friendly to them. You even went on a date with them the other day!"

"Yeah, because they're new! I wanted them to meet Donut, since they... We. Are all some shade of gay."

"The new guys are gay??"

"Yeah! Caboose said he's bi during that breakfast, remember! And I was talking to Wash the other day, and he mentioned being gay, so I thought it would be nice to introduce them to each other. You know, start a new friend circle. In case the old one kills me."

"Oh. Well. I'm not gay, but I don't want to be excluded or exclude you. Ever. So... friends?" He offered his hand for a handshake.

Church took his hand, and pulled him into a short hug.

"Friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the tale of homophobic Tucker is ended. I cannot write homophobia, I don't know how to, so I had to unhomophobe him. In this house we use character growth to avoid writer growth.


	9. Someone is gonna fall in love by the end of this song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After two and a bit months that could have been a week or eight decades in the 2020 time distortion, I return to this fic alive and writing!  
> Me, writing this chapter in the current times: but did they disinfect themselves when they got home. Are they clean enough to be touching things as they please. Is this safe. Please be clean and uncontaminated before sitting in beds. This feels mildly wrong

A week passed, and the awkwardness between Church and Tucker was mostly dissolved into nothing.

Another week passed, and Wash managed to find a few jobs around Blood Gulch and nearby cities. Close enough that he could go back home every day. Usually late enough to share a midnight snack with one of the tenants before falling asleep upon contact with his bed.

Another week passed, and Reginald came back. And with him, Dear Lina. Uncle Reggie was a field researcher, always traveling with the university to the oddest places to study and document species. This meant he had long periods of being away from home. Usually three to six months at a time, with an equal interval before the next trip, but there were times when things took longer than planned. And those times were frequent enough that the man's schedule was nearly unpredictable. Dear Lina was Carolina and her three partners, Maine, York and Connie. Always a great excitement to meet, as their visits were even more unpredictable than the uncle's schedule. But they were home, and that meant the house was about to be a whole lot louder.

The Flowers went in first, having less things to sort out before going inside. Carolina entered the house looking quite different from last time's buzzed head: her hair had grown, and was dyed bright cyan. And the first thing she did was yell.

"LEONARD ELLE CHURCH!!" She called her brother. "Come down right this second to greet me!!"

Church was in his room trying to study when she shouted his name for the whole house to hear. He ran to the stairs to confirm what he'd heard.

"Carolina!" He exclaimed, running down to give her a hug. She gave him a little laugh.

"Missed me, asshole?"

"Of course I did! You never send any message, I'm always about to think you got killed one of these days!"

"Hey, you know that's never gonna happen. I'm too tough to die. And besides," she gestured to her partners, "I always have backup."

Her partners were amazingly weird. Maine was one of the biggest people Church had ever seen, an absolute unit of a man. York had a strange thing with picking locks to keep his hands busy, and Connie used to be a kitchen assistant, which left her with a thing for knives. Not as constant as York's lockpicking, but it was a noticeable thing. Combined with Carolina's love for martial arts, you'd never guess they're a band and not criminals or a vigilante group. It was no wonder they were always getting in trouble.

"Sure you do." He waved at them.

"Nice to see you again." Maine signed. Church took a moment to process the gestures before answering.

"Nice to see you too! Man, if I knew you guys were coming I would have practiced my sign language a bit." He said out loud, struggling to sign more than the first sentence.

"It's ok, take your time." Maine signed and smiled.

"So, we heard there were new tenants!" Carolina interrupted.

"And I'm sure the new tenants heard you too." Connie said.

"Yeah, I don't doubt that." Church agreed, with an almost angry look to his sister. "They're upstairs. And you probably woke one of them up." He started the march upstairs. The band still had to take their things to their room, so they would have to go up at some point. Why not make a stop at the other rooms while at it.

"It's like 3 pm, no one has business being asleep this late even if it's Saturday!" Carolina defended herself.

"He works until late."

"... Oh. In that case, I think that's fair."

Church knocked at a door with a gray and yellow name plate saying "Wash(ington)". The room gave him a low groan, and Church opened the door slowly. It was dark inside, the windows completely blocked, so they could not see the inside properly.

"Wash? Did we wake you up?"

"Mmm, almost." A sleepy voice came from inside.

"So you're still asleep?"

"Trying to be."

"Well. We have... Guests. I thought you'd like to know, Mr Reginald is home. And a few more people. There's breakfast and lunch in the fridge if you get up."

"Thanks... I'll let you know when that happens."

Church closed the door.

"And that was Washington. He's been working some pretty long irregular hours, so I'm not sure when you'll see him at full capacity. Probably tonight."

"... Does he always sleep-talk like he's working?" York asked, somewhere between amused and concerned.

"Mm kinda. He tries to be pretty formal most of the time. You get used to it. Or he gets used to you and starts talking like a normal person."

He then moved on to the door right beside it, with "Michal Jay Cabooose" written in blue and decorated with smiley faces, and knocked before opening the door a bit without waiting for an answer, putting his head inside the room.

"Hey Leonard!" The person inside greeted him happily.

"Hi. Mr Reginald arrived, if you wanna go meet him. And I'm sorry if the yell earlier scared you, my sister and her band are here too." He opened the door fully, revealing the four with him.

"Oh! New people!! I'm Michael! Michael Jay Caboose, nice to meet you!"

"Hi." Carolina answered the greeting.

"This is my sister, Carolina. And these are Connie, Maine and York." Church presented them, pointing to each.

"Hi, Leonard's sister! Hi, Leonard's sister's friends!"

"Very nice to meet you, Church's little friend! We gotta put our stuff away now, we'll talk later." Carolina waved him goodbye, and closed the door. She walked a bit away, grabbed Church by the shoulders, and shook him. "Leonard? _Leonard_??"

"I... Yes?" Church looked at her with confusion.

"Your first name! The one not even I use! He's calling you Leonard!!"

"Yeah, he... Kinda really likes first names." Church looked away from her. "Anyways... Your room?"

"Tucker told me you have a crush on one of them."

Church nearly choked on air.

"I... He what?? No I don't!!"

"He said you came out as bi. And I just saw you be extremely nice to these guys. _Wayyy_ nicer than you ever are to Tucker or to us."

"Seriously. You're gonna make things weird before you even put away your things? In your very not here room?" He gestured to the rooms still close to them.

"I... you're right. Lead the way." She grinned with a hint of evil, and let go of him.

The band's room was the biggest, occupying the third floor almost completely. Since they often used it for practice when they stayed over, it also had some soundproofing so as to not disturb the rest of the house. The beds were placed together in a corner so they could all sleep together, and the rest of the room was mostly open space for practice and fun. They put their things away, and Carolina refused to let Church go before they talked.

"You like one of them. Or both of them." She said, no doubt in her voice.

"I... Yeah. I do. _Please_ don't tell Tucker."

"Which?"

"I'm not telling you! What are you gonna do, push me towards him literally? Lock us in a closet until I confess and we make out??"

"Don't give her ideas." York chuckled.

"I just want to know! Are you really sure about this? About them? Do you trust them enough to fall in love??"

"No! I don't trust them enough, I just... He's hot. And nice, and funny, and smart, and I'm... I don't know. I'm in love."

"Ok... Which one though." Connie asked.

"I'm not gonna tell you! There's only two options, can't you just... Guess??"

"I bet it's mr polite." York said.

"I will be the smart one and bet it's the one who calls him by first name." Carolina shook his hand.

"I'm not taking bets about your brother's love life, I don't even know the guys." Connie refused to play.

Maine thought for a moment, then decided.

"I want to see more before I bet."

"Wait, you guys are actually _betting_ betting? I want part of the winning money if you are!" Church said, and was greeted with an odd look and laughter from the band.

"Yeah, we don't really bet money since we all use the same wallet..." York started.

"The winner picks what songs we play." Maine finished.

"Oh. That's cool too. You guys are gonna give us a little private show, right? I wanna pick a song or two too, since you're using me as entertainment."

"Yeah, that sounds reasonable." Carolina shook his hand.

"Please give us the song before the show though, we are not good at improvising." York added. The other three nodded.

Bets done and settled, the conversation started to flow more easily. They talked a good while more, about where the band had been, stories about their shows and life on the road, Church's classes, and anything else they remembered to talk about, before noticing it had been almost three hours since they arrived and deciding it was time to go down to eat.

As they reached the kitchen, they found Caboose and Wash already there.

"Oh! Wash! Awake?" Church asked.

"Mm yeah. And these are?"

"My sister Carolina, and her partners York, Connie and Maine." The four waved at him before finding themselves places in the table. "They're also a band."

"Oh. Pleasure to meet you. I'm David Washington, I work as a photographer. If you ever want to hire a professional photographer, I'm here."

"Nice to know! I don't know if we'll ever have money for that, but I'll try to keep that in mind!" Carolina answered.

"Hey, totally weird and stalker-y question. How old are you?" York asked.

"Uh. 30?"

"Oh. Cool, cool. And what's your opinion on computer nerds?"

"I'm sorry, is this a 'are you good enough to date our little brother' interrogation? Because if it is, I can just tell you I'm not dating him. Or interested in him."

"Is it mutual?" Maine asked Church.

"I... Yeah? Yes I'm not interested either." Church said. And noticing the odd looks from Wash and Caboose, turned to them. "Oh! I forgot to mention, but Maine is non-verbal. He can hear you just fine, but he doesn't like talking out loud. Voice dysphoria or something."

"That's nice to know. I unfortunately do not speak a word of sign language, so I guess I'll have to... Not be alone with Maine ever?" Wash said, writing something down on his phone.

"I speak some! I like talking with my hands." Caboose said with a smile and clumsy signing.

"Great! And what do you do for a living?" York continued his questions, now with Caboose.

"I'm studying! To make the best! Robot! Ever!!" Caboose gestured energetically as he spoke.

"He is a student and lab assistant at Sarge's." Church explained.

"What, that old guy from Donut's place?" Carolina chuckled.

"The one obsessed with the color red who calls us dirty blues? Yeah. He's a robotics teacher somehow."

"Oh man. That sounds like quite the scene."

"He's fun!" Caboose said. "He lets me test his robots, and sometimes they explode, which is bad, but also very fun! We're trying to make a big robot that will talk to us and be our friend and maybe even help us make more robots!"

"Sounds... really fun." York smiled a bit sarcastically.

They ate, and talked, and got to know each other better. 

Carolina, as the oldest child of the owners of a technology company, knew some things about robots, enough to understand part of Caboose's rants. Her disinterest with the line of work led her to form a band with her partners and never go back to her home city. Their parents weren't too happy with her choice either, so she wasn't exactly welcome there anyway. Wash found common ground with York and Connie, talking about cooking techniques and lockpicking. He even admitted to breaking into abandoned buildings from time to time for photos, and one time to live in one for a while. He knew a good deal about cooking and knives from his time as the responsible adult of the pair. Caboose could cook, but he didn't like to. Too many steps, he said. Maine and Carolina helped Caboose and Church practice their signing a bit, and had a few laughs at the younger two's mistakes.

It was an overall enjoyable afternoon.

The two misters Flowers went out for a date and drinks and left the house to them, possibly until the next morning (and however else long it would take for uncle Butch to get his smile back on after drinking all afternoon and night). Tucker came out of his room a bit later, greeting the band as if he knew they were coming. Did he? Around dinner time, they ordered pizzas while the band emptied part of the living room and project a videogame onto the wall. Somehow, they had both the console and the projector. None of the games was big enough for eight, so they had to take turns dancing or fighting or shooting or whatever else they had. Church was horrible at all of them.

"What do you even do in that computer all day?!" Tucker laughed at him after a particularly devastating loss.

"I don't know, study?? I'm better at puzzles than at... This." He gestured vaguely at the battle game, now being played by Caboose and Carolina. 

The two were pretty amazing at it, blocking and attacking each other so quickly it almost looked fake. After Church's amazing ten second defeat against Carolina, it looked even more impressive. After a few minutes, the game declared a draw and their match was ended. Carolina handed her controller to York and sat beside Church to wait for another turn.

"You're still terrible at this, huh." She smiled, answered with an angry glare from him.

"It's not like I practice."

"Oh don't worry, I'm not here to mock you."

"I am." Tucker said, despite no longer being near them or in the conversation.

"Sure." She barely acknowledged Tucker. "Anyways. Caboose is really good at this, isn't he?"

"Looks like it. Maybe he can take over your place as the king of games."

"Oh I don't think so. But I think you should get some lessons from him."

"You..." He blushed a little. "I don't need to be good at games. I'm good just watching you guys play."

"You know I don't mean it only for the games."

"Sure. And as I said. I'm good, thanks." He turned away from her. He wanted to escape. And just as he thought that, he heard a meow. The loud meow of a hungry Freckles. "Oh. Cat time. Gotta go." 

He got up and ran away to find the cats and cat food. Wash and Caboose always moved the food around every few days because if Loki learned where it was and how to reach it he'd sneak in and try to eat all the food. Today it should be in...

"My room." Wash called behind him, getting out of the game zone to help with the cats. "Let's find Loki first."

"Sure! Sure." Church replied awkwardly.

Loki was in the kitchen, checking any previous hideouts he could reach. He really deserved the name of a trickster god, sneaky as he was. They locked him inside the kitchen and went upstairs to get the food.

"So... Enjoying the new company?" Church tried to start a conversation as Wash got the food. A box inside a drawer with heavy books on top of it. Amazing security measures, considering the "enemy" was a cat.

"I think they're a bit too much for me."

"You seemed to get along well with them. You even beat York in a fight."

"Yeah, that's more luck than ability though. You on the other hand seem to be pretty low on luck today."

"Yeah, I'm kinda... Nervous? I haven't seen them in a while."

"And they're already prying on your love life." Wash handed Church two portions of cat food and locked his room.

"Yeah. Wait, how..."

"The meal earlier. York asked the typical 'are you good enough to date my little brother' questions."

"Oh! Yeah... He did." They reached the kitchen to find Freckles waiting outside, and Church opened it to serve the cats.

"Don't worry, I don't mind. But it makes me kinda curious." Wash said, closing the kitchen door behind him. "York thinks you have a crush on me, your sister thinks you have a crush on Michael. Why?"

Church looked at him with a mix of panic and disbelief. Why did people keep trapping him and asking uncomfortable questions??

"Uh... Well. Because as I've said before, I kinda have a new crush."

"And...?"

"And... It's on a guy."

" _Aaand_?"

"... And something I've said made her think it's one of you two so now she and York are betting on which one."

"But it isn't one of us?"

"Hmm, am I allowed to pass? Because pass."

"You are not allowed to pass. _Leonard_. You said it's not me. So you have a crush on Michael?" Church turned red upon hearing the accusation, and Wash didn't even wait for him to answer. "You do!! I can't believe you!"

"Shhhhhhh, quiet!! I don't want them to hear anything!"

"Why don't you just tell them? Why don't you just tell _him_?!?"

"Are you kidding? I'm gonna die if I ever confess to someone! Besides, what if he doesn't like me like that? I don't want to embarrass myself or make things awkward!"

"Unlikely, Mike definitely likes you enough to say yes. So, just to make sure. Your sister is the one who's betting on Mike, right?"

"Yes... Wait, why?"

"Don't worry about it." Wash winked and left the kitchen.

Church felt like a wreck. First Tucker, then Carolina, now Wash?? Everyone was way too invested in his love life. It was only a crush!! He laid down on the kitchen floor and stayed there until Freckles decided to investigate him.

"I'm doomed, aren't I?" He asked the cat. Freckles did not respond, as expected from a cat. "Yeah, I'm totally doomed. He's gonna tell them, and they'll tell him, and I'll be dead before my uncles even come back from their date." Freckles positioned himself on top of Church's chest, and just stared at him. Church scratched his head and got up slowly, forcing the cat to move. He grabbed a soda from the fridge and headed back to the game, finding Carolina, Wash and Connie gone. Tucker and Maine were having a dance battle against Caboose and York.

"Oh, Leonard!" Caboose greeted him quickly, only half diverting his attention from the game. "Did you want to play? You were gone a bit, so we forgot to wait and ask you!"

"Were you secretly making out with Wash?" Tucker asked jokingly.

"Hah hah. Not funny, Tucker. I was just helping get the cats' food."

He sat on the sofa nearby and watched them dancing around, and was half glad he wasn't there when they picked the game. He was terrible at this dancing thing, and that song in particular looked pretty hard. Tucker and York were pretty good, and Maine looked like he just knew the move sequence by heart. He didn't follow the rhythm much, but he moved like he knew what to do. Caboose... was something else. He danced excitedly, and didn't always get the moves right, but he looked like he was having a lot of fun. When the song was finished, Tucker and Maine won. York congratulated his boyfriend with a kiss, and Caboose sat beside Church, his skin hot and breath irregular, looked at him briefly, and smiled.

"It's your turn!" He handed him the controller.

"I..." He blushed, and took it from him. "I am going to really disappoint you."

"It's ok. You don't have to be the best, as long as you feel good then you're great!"

"Oh... Thanks." He got up and took his place beside York. "Ready to lose again?"

"Absolutely, if I lose again I get to change teams!" York laughed.

They selected a reasonable song, despite Tucker's protests asking to pick a harder song. It wasn't that bad, but Church still had a hard time following the movements fast and right enough. As he expected, he lost. He expected York to switch with Tucker, but instead he switched with Maine.

"It wouldn't be fair to take all your chances of winning." He joked.

Before they could start a new song, the three that were missing came down. Bringing a guitar. Oh no. _Oh no_. That was definitely a bad sign. Impromptu shows always meant _something_.

"Alright everyone, we were requested a song, so we will play a song. Exclusive content, don't tell uncles or they'll be sad." Carolina announced.

"We can play it again tomorrow and pretend it's the first time." York joked.

Carolina and Connie got chairs, sat themselves in the center of the room, encouraging the others to form a semi circle around and sing along, and started the song, a kinda fast guitar and clapping.

"Struck by lightning, sounds pretty frightening  
But you know the chances are so small" Caboose jumped up as the song started, singing along. He was clearly excited to hear the song.  
"Stuck by a bee sting, nothing but a bee thing  
Better chance you're gonna buy it at the mall  
But it's a 23 or 4 to 1 that you could fall in love by the end of this song" And as he sang the verse he turned to Church, smiling and half gesturing for him to dance with him. Church tried to refuse, but was pulled into the clumsy dance anyway.  
"So get up, get up tell the bookie 'put a bet up'  
Not a damn thing will go wrong!

The odds are that we will probably be alright  
Odds are we're gonna be alright  
Odds are we're gonna be alright tonight" The chorus repeated twice, changing slightly in that last verse, and Caboose danced excitedly with Church, falling out of rhythm and not really following any pattern other than "move".

"Wash said something to you, didn't he..." Church grumbled as the song started a new verse, looking away. Caboose stopped the dancing and gave him a weird look.

"What? I haven't talked to David since you two left to feed the cats, I just like this song. And I like you! So I wanted to dance with you. Was he supposed to tell me something?"

"No, I just... I don't know. I said something I shouldn't, that's why they're doing this little show."

"Oh... Was it something bad?"

"Bad? No, just... embarrassing."

"Then why not say it now? You're already embarrassed from the dancing, aren't you!"

Church looked at him, flustered and surprised. He took a moment to collect his thoughts, and took a deep breath.

"It sounds kinda silly to say this with this song saying someone's gonna fall in love, but... I did. I fell in love." Caboose looked at him curiously and a bit confused, as if waiting for an explanation. "With you."

"Oh... Oh! Is that what you wanted to say? I love you too!"

"You... Do?" Caboose nodded at him. "You know I mean love like dating and kissing and stuff, right? Like, not as just friends?"

"Yeah! I love you! You're really nice and patient with me, and Freckles and Loki and David like you too, and you know a lot of cool stuff, and you're really cool, I really, really like you!"

"Soo... You'd go out with me?" Church blushed.

"Sure!! You'll be my first boyfriend and I'll be yours!" Caboose gave him a kiss in the cheek and a tight hug, slightly swinging from side to side to the rhythm of the song.

Church felt like he could explode. He felt like the world could stop around him and he wouldn't even notice. He said yes. He said yes!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow that was a lot happening in one chapter! Things sure did happen, huh!  
> The song in the chapte is [Odds Are](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiTucKt-gM4), because it's the only song I know by the band of the guy who voices Flowers (not counting Neil Cicierega's [Smooth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D-WVlRohQk)) so I remember it immediately and also it fits and it's a nice song


	10. (Bet)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very very short I just didn't want to leave the fic stopped at just that

The world did not actually stop around them though. The two finished the song hastily and cheered, and Carolina dramatically stood up and pointed at York.

"I WIN!!" She shouted, and laughed triumphantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So short these notes are longer than the chapter

**Author's Note:**

> BUT the real reason I'm using that song as title is because the last verses before the shift is "it was a friendly brunet guy, the one I fell in love with. And now I am so euphoric, with a thousand bionic pieces. Yesterday I was catholic, today I'm a gay" and that's. basically what this fic is.


End file.
